No one anticipated the success of Syrian Canadian author Zoulfa Katouh's debut book, As Long As the Lemon Trees Grow, not even her.
While that book centred on hope amid a brutal clampdown of a revolution that rocked Syria and resulted in one of the world's biggest forced migrations, her new book focuses on healing.
"There was a lot to live up to," she tells The New Arab, adding that she wanted her new book, The Ocean Would Paint Me Blue , to be something her readers would be proud of.
The Young Adult novel follows the story of Jihad, a 17-year-old Syrian American girl who grapples with her mother's sudden death, followed by bullying over her identity, and eventually turns to art as a form of relief and escapism.
Despite using magical realism throughout, the book touches on serious topics that many Muslims living in the West face, which the author says can benefit readers of all ages.
"I wanted to write it because it's the kind of book that I wish I had read when I was younger," Zoulfa explains.
For her, a key motivation for the book was to subvert stereotypes about Islam through the main character.
"I wrote the entire book for her name. I wanted to write a character whose name was Jihad, and what that truly means is and is embodied in her…I wanted to show you, not tell you, what Jihad is," Zoulfa shares with The New Arab. "I also wanted to subvert tropes, like the whiteboy saviour trope and how to change that and make her proud of her identity, where she comes from, and how the hijab is something that is a big part of her that she doesn't want to part with."
Dubbing herself a "recovering apologetic Muslim," Zoulfa says she no longer feels the need to apologise or explain too much about her faith.
She says the Arabic word Jihad has existed before Islam and has been a name that many people use for their children, but rising anti-Muslim hate in the last 20 to 25 years has created a stigma and misinformation over its meaning.
"I wanted to rectify that. I wanted to show you the true meaning of Jihad, and it's up to you to accept it or not, and that is my job as a human on this earth – when I see something wrong, I have to correct it," she shares. Rising anti-Muslim hate Zoulfa has poured many of her own experiences and grief into the book, from her time living in Switzerland, where she says constant questions made her feel like a spokesperson for her faith, to her hijab making her visibly Muslim, and therefore a target for hate.
"I often tell people that when I go out, I don't know if I'm coming back, and this is my own jihad that I'm doing, that I'm exercising my right to wear my scarf and be proud of it, but I could pay the price for it. And a lot of Muslim women and children do," she adds, noting that statistics she read of Muslim children committing suicide due to bullying prompted her to tackle this issue head-on, ensuring it was spoken about more in society.
"I come from a generation where I was born in the West, but my parents were not. So, when you have families where the parents migrated to the US, they don't want to cause any problems," she explains, which is one of the reasons she believes a lot of anti-Muslim hate often goes unaddressed.
As a result, she says the book was an effort to push readers to act and to evaluate how they react when they witness bullying.
"It's easy to be complicit and quiet. You need to find that bravery within yourself to be the person who speaks up, and then you will find people chiming in and helping you…I want the reader to know that this is not just a story; this is reality," says Zoulfa. "I also want readers to feel healed, like a scab – it hurts a bit, but it's healing. I want whoever reads this to find healing, especially Muslim readers. I want them to feel proud of who they are…" she adds, noting the book touches on other very real experiences young Muslims face, such as friendships and relationships that teeter on falling in love. Second chances While a key theme is discrimination and the devastating consequences that can have, Zoulfa also wanted the book to show that forgiveness and second chances are a big part of being Muslim
"One thing I really hope is that readers who think maybe I acted like an Alexis, is that they know they don't have to be like that; we can move forward and become better," she says, referring to one of the characters who should have been a friend to Jihad but, in many ways, betrayed her instead.
"One of my favourite scenes is at the end, where one of the characters apologises for what she did, and I did not plan that scene," she shares.
"That scene just came up when I was writing, and I was like, I really like that. I mean, Jihad doesn't have to forgive her, but it's within my religion to repent and become a better person — forgiveness is also a big part of being Muslim, but again, you don't have to."
While the writing process was at times difficult, and Zoulfa describes having to "scrap everything and start over," a few times, she says she has reached a stage where she is unapologetic with her Muslim identity and hopes writing this book will allow others to feel the same.
"What hurts me the most is when I remember the times I stayed quiet. I don't stay quiet now," she says, laughing.
"I'm ready to go, like, let's throw hands!" Nadda Osman is a senior journalist at The New Arab Follow her on X: @naddaxosman