The Birth of a Homeless President

Dr. Abdishakur Jowhar

Funny. Life is full of sudden turns and surprises. Unexpectedness is its spice and magic. Who would have thought that a Kenyan Pig Farm in Mbagathi would spell the end of Abdillahi Yussuf’s political career?

Mr. Yussuf has spent his whole adult life dreaming of acquiring the title “President of Somalia”. He fought for it. He spent years in prison in its pursuit. He sacrificed every principal and betrayed every cause for it. He killed his enemies in battle in its name. He wiped out villages in its quest. And he killed many a close friend in cold blood in the midst of the night for standing in his way. And finally he made a pact with the devil himself to achieve the title. In October 10, 2004, Mr. Yussuf was elected President of the Republic of Somalia, in Empagathi, Kenya. The electors’ hands dripped with pork (bribe) with funds diverted from the war on terror by Yussuf’s benefactor Ethiopian strong man Zenawi.

President Yussuf, commenced on an extended victory lap to various capitals in the region: Uganda, United Arab Emirates and Sudan and most repeatedly Ethiopia. In all of these hand-in-hat whistle stops Somalia’s President Yussuf managed to avoid Somali soil like it was the plaque itself. Normal people may actually think there is something odd about electing a president for Somalia in an Animal Farm in another country and celebrating the victory in every other place but Somalia. Somalia however is a surreal place where the decidedly abnormal is the new normal.

The elections and celebrations are over and it is quite clear to astute observers that the President is not experiencing a dream-come-true of a Presidency but frightening nightmare. Mr. Yussuf lost his footing and any chance of truly becoming the president of a nation even before setting foot in Somalia. Now I don’t want to be the first to break the bad news to the president. He is still out cold in euphoric stupor. But I will whisper to you how Mr. Yussuf planed to establish his rule with 3 pillars and how he lost it all in 3 steps within the span of 3 months. 3 must be his unlucky number.

President Yussuf’s whole strategy was to surround, isolate and then gradually absorb the powerful Hawiye clans of south Somalia. Already Galkacayo in the north was in his hands and now he wanted to take over Baidoa to the east of the feared Hawiye and Kismayo to their South. He wanted to place himself in a position of squeezing out any resistance to him in Muqdisho with his troops to the north, east and south and with the Indian Ocean to the west, and hopefully with the support of African Peace keeping forces (read Ethiopian war troops).

The first pillar cracked and broke even before Yussuf was elected. Remember that in September 2004 Yussuf armed a brutal warlord and fellow War Criminal “General Morgan” to capture Kismayo and the fertile regions surrounding it from the JVA (Juba Valley Alliance is an alliance of tribal warlords that control Kismayo and its vicinity. Col Barre Hirale heads it). The General’s army was routed by the JVA in less than 3 days and by early October of the same year Morgan arrived in Nairobi having barely escaped with his skin. Rumor has it that Barre Hirale received a lot of support from the warlords in Muqdisho who were very much aware of Yussuf’s mechanizations.

The president’s second strategic pillar was to take over the peaceful Digil/Mirifle lands of the southeast part of Somalia. The plan was simple: come down heavily on one side or the order of the bitterly divided RRA and with the help of Ethiopian troops capture the regional capital Baidoa. Claiming Baidoa the temporary Capital would have appeased the populace at least temporarily. You may remember that in late October and early November of 2004 Ethiopia indeed amassed several thousand of its Somali speaking troops in the vicinity of Baidoa to support this plan. The outcry of the international community and the realization of Zenawi that aid moneys to his nation will dry up all too quickly if he so openly violates international boundaries stopped this plan dead on its tracks. That an important section of RRA (Haabsade/Saransoor) appeared ready to defend against Ethiopian adventurism in the region assisted to curb Zenawi appetite for regional war. Ethiopia withdrew its troops. President Yussuf lost one more step. And another pillar of his strategy came tumbling down.

The tribal elders of the President’s former stronghold Puntland delivered the end of his dream and marked the beginning of his homelessness and nightmare. There Yussuf’s protégé and handpicked heir apparent (Mohamed Abdi Hashi) lost to Yussuf’s arch rival who has previously taken up arms against him; General Mohamud (Adde) Muse Hirsi. President Yussuf could no longer go back to Puntland and make it the seat of his power for he will pose an immediate source of danger to General Adde and the institutions of statehood that are just taking root. Puntland is all too happy to have exported their number one problem to Mbagathi and they would rather have him go elsewhere with his wars, boundless ambitions and his desire to dominate and dictate.

The president having lost in all three of his gambles has nothing more to do except roam around neighboring capitals with a pitiful beseeching and shrill claims of presidency in a land where he can no longer go to in peace. He lost the proverbial bird in hand.

So like I said, I don’t want to be the first bearer of bad news to this president. So make sure you tell this to the president when he wakes from his euphoric stupor. Tell him that Abdi Jowhar described his state of affairs the Birth of a Homeless President.

Tell this to Prime Minster Geedi as well, so that he can salvage his tenure, so that he may discard the dead weight of the war criminal president who will never set foot in Somalia ever again, so that he can concentrate on soliciting the support of the people of Muqdisho who are so fed up with lawlessness. Let peace be his friend and Gen Adde (the arch rival of Yussuf) his role model.

Disabuse the Prime Minster of the notion that there is any one out there who will send soldiers, money, guns and tanks to establish his power in Mogadishu. Tell him the childish wish that there is a gallant army out there in Africa or elsewhere that will save poor Somalis for their own dogs of war is suitable for a dime a dozen romance novels and Qaat-intoxicated drug crazies. It is not worthy of the consideration of a professor of his status, or of that of any sane person of any background.

And don’t forget to tell the Prime Minster that dealing head on with the hand-chopping, grave desecrating mad Talibans in Mogadishu maybe the road of his salvation. For this he will get him the support of the world and as well as that of the warlords in his neighborhood who are terrified of those fanatics with the long beards, short pants and machetes to chop the body parts of the poor and the defenseless.

And finally, dear reader, share this news with the members of the Federal Transitional Parliament so that they may go on with their happy pursuit of grease. Alert them Somali Recon Episode 15 is soon to come to a pig farm close to you…

Abdishakur Jowhar
E-mail: abdijowhar@yahoo.com

Somalia | Politics | |